Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
