guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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