Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
