Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
