I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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