I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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