Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize