she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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