Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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