Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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