How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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