Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
