I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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