Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
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Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
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My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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