you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
the raccoons are back...
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