I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
