dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
