I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
