i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
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Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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