So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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