i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
