We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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