Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I can't put those talents on a resume
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
