I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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