I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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