what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right