I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him