I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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