There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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