dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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