I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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