Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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