just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
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i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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