You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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