ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize