he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think I sprained my soul last night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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