Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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