I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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