For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
