well I can't set my house on fire every night
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
