I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
even my farts smell like vagina
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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