apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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