I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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