Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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