Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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