he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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