party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
