If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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