When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
