come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize