Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.