In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.