get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
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You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?