just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish