My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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