we made out on top of his cat.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
