i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
