Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
